I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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