she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
