I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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