The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
