I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
