i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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