I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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