We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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