Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
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i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
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oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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