Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
