I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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