We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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