accomplished twins. life is a go
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She told me I should be a condom model.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
