I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
