We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
