I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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