i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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