just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
