i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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