We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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