It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize