I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
