Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
