Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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