Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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