She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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