I wish I could teleport
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
