Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
