Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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