tell your sister to shave her snatch
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
