Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
not ubering you a puppy
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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