Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
