Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize