White coat. Heels.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
