I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
