bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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