Sponge bath it is.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
