Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
