Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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