He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
