Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
