All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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