I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
