I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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