he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
