Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
