I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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