She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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