clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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