I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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