Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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