I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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