she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
