this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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