i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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