I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
