I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
