Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
