i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
is wine microwaveable?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
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Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize